For most of my time at A&M I was a kinesiology major. I just decided eventually after growing up obsessed with being a great athlete I didn't want my whole life to be about youth sports. I have a lot of respect for those of you who choose this path. I really think this country needs youth sports and you can't have them without coaches.
Parents driving coaches away from game
Feb. 5, 2012
Patrick Hite
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Rob Bennett has one less job these days. The Covington High
School science teacher, who is also the city's mayor, resigned as the
school's boys' basketball coach in late January.
Enough was enough.
Over
the past 20 years Bennett has spent time as both the boys' and girls'
basketball coach and, for the most part, had support from parents and
fans.
After taking some time off to get his master's degree, he
returned to the bench four years ago. In the time away from the game
something changed. That support he received in the past was gone.
Bennett and his coaching staff were questioned by parents about
something after every game.
"It was either over playing time, what
I said to their child on the bench, why they didn't start, why they
didn't play in this quarter, why did you play this player because he
missed practice or missed 30 minutes of practice because he went to get
tutored in English, why did you keep a freshman on the varsity," Bennett
said. "It was unbelievable."
There were even parents who accused
Bennett of allowing poor behavior and language on the team bus,
accusations that were proved false with the help of videotape.
Said Bennett, "Why am I going to be miserable doing something I love to do and, for the most part, was pretty good at?"
Unfortunately,
Bennett's story isn't unique. There are plenty of stories of coaches
quitting because they are tired of putting up with unreasonable parents
and fans.
Ironically, Nathan Hale, the Covington assistant coach
who has taken over the team for the remainder of the season, has been
close to a similar situation in the past. His father, Bill Hale, was
driven out by parents as Fort Defiance boys' basketball coach more than a
decade ago.
In 2003, Mike Hamilton, the girls' basketball coach at Rockbridge County, even went as far as suing a troublesome parent.
Go
to any high school basketball game and you can't avoid it. The other
night, while covering the Rockbridge County at Waynesboro boys'
basketball game, I sat in front of two Rockbridge County fans who
complained about the officials almost every trip down the court. I
should have known what I was in for when, before the game started, one
of the ladies pointed to an official and said, "That's the one who threw
me out of a game at Wilson Memorial."
Earlier this year, during a
Stuarts Draft-Waynesboro game, I heard a parent of a Waynesboro player
wishing out loud that her team played more like Stuarts Draft, who runs
an up-tempo style. I guess it didn't matter that Waynesboro has gone to
back-to-back state tournaments, including a spot in last year's state
championship game.
Wilson Memorial athletic director Greg Troxell
has been trying to figure out why there have been so many problems with
fans and parents lately.
"Is it what I call the ESPN factor?"
Troxell said. "Everyone watches ESPN and hears how it should be done and
now everyone is an expert. Is it parents trying to live their youth
again through their kids? Is it economic pressure and the hope that
their kid is going to get a full ride to college and save them money? I
don't know, but it is getting worse, and the lack of respect for
officials and coaches is alarming."
Steve Hartley offered another possibility.
"With
so many different little leagues in the country now, parents are having
to coach more than they used to," the Stuarts Draft athletic director
said. "In turn, they seem to think they have more knowledge of the
game."
Of course, none of the parents and fans who are actually
causing problems will recognize themselves when reading this. It's
probably too much to ask that all spectators cheer for their teams
without criticizing officials, coaches or the opposing players.
When kids see their parents blaming everyone else for their team's lack of success, it's bound to affect them.
"The
kids see this and are just a product of their environment," Bennett
said. "Parents do not tell the truth to their kids like we coaches do.
We now live in a politically correct world and people are not used to
hearing the truth. They want to not face what is real and make excuses
when things do not go their way. Rules are wonderful until they affect
my kid. Then we want something else to be done."
School
administrators try to solve the problems. Larry Landes, Fort Defiance's
principal, said his staff has spoken in private to fans who act
inappropriately. The topic is raised at all meet-the-team nights prior
to the season, and administrators are at almost all athletic events,
ready to step in and handle any problems.
"Use of profanity from
fans, screaming at officials, belittling coaches is totally
unacceptable," Landes said. "We preach sportsmanship with athletes,
coaches and fans."
Not only are coaches quitting, but schools are finding it more and more difficult to get someone to coach in the first place.
Even
athletes are giving up. A couple of years ago there was an athlete at
Wilson Memorial who chose not to play because he was tired of his dad
yelling at him from the stands. Troxell offered to talk to the father,
but the kid said it wouldn't change anything.
"What parentsdon't
realize is they are really embarrassing their child," said Troxell, who
emphasized that a majority of fans are great, but it only takes one or
two to make everyone look bad.
I've often said, only half
jokingly, that high-school sporting events would be better if they were
played without anyone in the stands. Obviously, no one wants to reach
that point. Instead, it's time for the adults who are watching the games
to grow up and actually act like adults.
"No coaches or officials
are trying to cheat or do things to kids on purpose," Hartley said. "So
just sit back and enjoy the game."
Write to News Leader columnist Patrick Hite at sports@newsleader.com
Parents driving coaches away from game
Feb. 5, 2012
Patrick Hite
ADVERTISEMENT
Rob Bennett has one less job these days. The Covington High
School science teacher, who is also the city's mayor, resigned as the
school's boys' basketball coach in late January.
Enough was enough.
Over
the past 20 years Bennett has spent time as both the boys' and girls'
basketball coach and, for the most part, had support from parents and
fans.
After taking some time off to get his master's degree, he
returned to the bench four years ago. In the time away from the game
something changed. That support he received in the past was gone.
Bennett and his coaching staff were questioned by parents about
something after every game.
"It was either over playing time, what
I said to their child on the bench, why they didn't start, why they
didn't play in this quarter, why did you play this player because he
missed practice or missed 30 minutes of practice because he went to get
tutored in English, why did you keep a freshman on the varsity," Bennett
said. "It was unbelievable."
There were even parents who accused
Bennett of allowing poor behavior and language on the team bus,
accusations that were proved false with the help of videotape.
Said Bennett, "Why am I going to be miserable doing something I love to do and, for the most part, was pretty good at?"
Unfortunately,
Bennett's story isn't unique. There are plenty of stories of coaches
quitting because they are tired of putting up with unreasonable parents
and fans.
Ironically, Nathan Hale, the Covington assistant coach
who has taken over the team for the remainder of the season, has been
close to a similar situation in the past. His father, Bill Hale, was
driven out by parents as Fort Defiance boys' basketball coach more than a
decade ago.
In 2003, Mike Hamilton, the girls' basketball coach at Rockbridge County, even went as far as suing a troublesome parent.
Go
to any high school basketball game and you can't avoid it. The other
night, while covering the Rockbridge County at Waynesboro boys'
basketball game, I sat in front of two Rockbridge County fans who
complained about the officials almost every trip down the court. I
should have known what I was in for when, before the game started, one
of the ladies pointed to an official and said, "That's the one who threw
me out of a game at Wilson Memorial."
Earlier this year, during a
Stuarts Draft-Waynesboro game, I heard a parent of a Waynesboro player
wishing out loud that her team played more like Stuarts Draft, who runs
an up-tempo style. I guess it didn't matter that Waynesboro has gone to
back-to-back state tournaments, including a spot in last year's state
championship game.
Wilson Memorial athletic director Greg Troxell
has been trying to figure out why there have been so many problems with
fans and parents lately.
"Is it what I call the ESPN factor?"
Troxell said. "Everyone watches ESPN and hears how it should be done and
now everyone is an expert. Is it parents trying to live their youth
again through their kids? Is it economic pressure and the hope that
their kid is going to get a full ride to college and save them money? I
don't know, but it is getting worse, and the lack of respect for
officials and coaches is alarming."
Steve Hartley offered another possibility.
"With
so many different little leagues in the country now, parents are having
to coach more than they used to," the Stuarts Draft athletic director
said. "In turn, they seem to think they have more knowledge of the
game."
Of course, none of the parents and fans who are actually
causing problems will recognize themselves when reading this. It's
probably too much to ask that all spectators cheer for their teams
without criticizing officials, coaches or the opposing players.
When kids see their parents blaming everyone else for their team's lack of success, it's bound to affect them.
"The
kids see this and are just a product of their environment," Bennett
said. "Parents do not tell the truth to their kids like we coaches do.
We now live in a politically correct world and people are not used to
hearing the truth. They want to not face what is real and make excuses
when things do not go their way. Rules are wonderful until they affect
my kid. Then we want something else to be done."
School
administrators try to solve the problems. Larry Landes, Fort Defiance's
principal, said his staff has spoken in private to fans who act
inappropriately. The topic is raised at all meet-the-team nights prior
to the season, and administrators are at almost all athletic events,
ready to step in and handle any problems.
"Use of profanity from
fans, screaming at officials, belittling coaches is totally
unacceptable," Landes said. "We preach sportsmanship with athletes,
coaches and fans."
Not only are coaches quitting, but schools are finding it more and more difficult to get someone to coach in the first place.
Even
athletes are giving up. A couple of years ago there was an athlete at
Wilson Memorial who chose not to play because he was tired of his dad
yelling at him from the stands. Troxell offered to talk to the father,
but the kid said it wouldn't change anything.
"What parentsdon't
realize is they are really embarrassing their child," said Troxell, who
emphasized that a majority of fans are great, but it only takes one or
two to make everyone look bad.
I've often said, only half
jokingly, that high-school sporting events would be better if they were
played without anyone in the stands. Obviously, no one wants to reach
that point. Instead, it's time for the adults who are watching the games
to grow up and actually act like adults.
"No coaches or officials
are trying to cheat or do things to kids on purpose," Hartley said. "So
just sit back and enjoy the game."
Write to News Leader columnist Patrick Hite at sports@newsleader.com
