Dan Campbell’s Coffee
This is an edited version of what happened to a sportswriter tasked with mimicking Dan Campbell’s daily coffee order. You’re up Mark.
It was just past 11:20 a.m. on a Monday in New York City when the caffeine began to take hold. My head buzzed. My stomach sloshed. I had felt so confident just a couple of hours earlier. Now I felt defeated.
I was no Dan Campbell.
This story had started five days earlier when my editor reached out with a “fun” idea: Do you want to try to drink coffee like Detroit Lions coach Dan Campbell for a day
I was familiar with Campbell’s order, which went viral in 2022 and was later documented by The Athletic’s Dan Pompei in a terrific profile: Two 20-ounce Pike Place medium roast coffees with two shots of espresso in each one.
The colloquial term for the drink is a “black eye.” But I had one concern.
It was 8:12 a.m. when I walked to my neighborhood Starbucks. I had spent the previous 10 minutes considering how to ask for two venti “black eyes.”
Did I need to preface my order? Explain it? I felt like Nathan Fielder rehearsing it in my head.
Uhh, yeah, this is going to be a strange order, but …
Don’t worry, this is NOT an order for one person …
Instead, I went right into it. The woman behind the counter didn’t blink.
About three minutes later, the barista delivered the dueling ventis, complete with a friendly message on each one that could also be read as a taunt, considering I was about to consume 1,420 milligrams of caffeine:
I sat down, popped open my laptop and got to work. The first 16 ounces went down quickly. I should note here that I drink coffee every day. My standard order, depending on the place, is a plain 12-ounce latte with a little simple syrup. If I can get through the rest of the day without any more coffee, that’s a win. (Narrator: I usually don’t.) I had never tackled 40 ounces of coffee, let alone 40 ounces with an additional four shots of espresso. But I was feeling cocky. Invincible.
By 9:45 a.m., I had finished the first 20 ounces and started on the second. I had a series of jumbled thoughts:
It was just past 11:20 a.m. on a Monday in New York City when the caffeine began to take hold. My head buzzed. My stomach sloshed. I had felt so confident just a couple of hours earlier. Now I felt defeated.
I was no Dan Campbell.
This story had started five days earlier when my editor reached out with a “fun” idea: Do you want to try to drink coffee like Detroit Lions coach Dan Campbell for a day
I was familiar with Campbell’s order, which went viral in 2022 and was later documented by The Athletic’s Dan Pompei in a terrific profile: Two 20-ounce Pike Place medium roast coffees with two shots of espresso in each one.
The colloquial term for the drink is a “black eye.” But I had one concern.
It was 8:12 a.m. when I walked to my neighborhood Starbucks. I had spent the previous 10 minutes considering how to ask for two venti “black eyes.”
Did I need to preface my order? Explain it? I felt like Nathan Fielder rehearsing it in my head.
Uhh, yeah, this is going to be a strange order, but …
Don’t worry, this is NOT an order for one person …
Instead, I went right into it. The woman behind the counter didn’t blink.
About three minutes later, the barista delivered the dueling ventis, complete with a friendly message on each one that could also be read as a taunt, considering I was about to consume 1,420 milligrams of caffeine:
I sat down, popped open my laptop and got to work. The first 16 ounces went down quickly. I should note here that I drink coffee every day. My standard order, depending on the place, is a plain 12-ounce latte with a little simple syrup. If I can get through the rest of the day without any more coffee, that’s a win. (Narrator: I usually don’t.) I had never tackled 40 ounces of coffee, let alone 40 ounces with an additional four shots of espresso. But I was feeling cocky. Invincible.
By 9:45 a.m., I had finished the first 20 ounces and started on the second. I had a series of jumbled thoughts:
- I should drink some water.
- My stomach was full of coffee.
- I was also trying to adhere to Campbell’s method, which meant drinking the coffee and espresso black. In some ways, that felt more challenging than putting down 40 ounces in one morning.
When I covered the Kansas City Royals a decade ago, manager Ned Yost used to chastise me about putting milk and sugar in my coffee. The people who did that, he said, just didn’t like coffee. I can’t say he was wrong, necessarily. But I’m not drinking coffee for the taste.
I looked at the six ounces I had left. Hmm. Did I just have enough coffee to ban myself from college sports?
I kept sipping for the next hour. The old college try, I thought. But there was no way I was going to finish. I didn’t want to finish. I couldn’t finish.
Eventually, the buzz subsided. With my brain clear, I started to write about my experience and what I’d learned, but I already knew the ending:
There’s a reason there’s only one Dan Campbell.